Sunday, January 01, 2006

The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny

Here is a good reason for the continued existence of WWYG?! Omnimedia.

Please, someone, click on this.


Blogger A P said...

This cartoon reminds me of a post a buddy of mine had about Chuck Norris and exaggerated tales of his . . . greatness.

A few examples:

There's no such thing as a tornado. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

Okay, I think that is enough.

3:14 PM  
Blogger David said...

The sheer eye-watering hilarity of Shirtless's comments might be enough to resurrect Omnimedia . . . or at the very least get a link to it on the mother site. Other's NEED to read about the awesome danger that is Mr. Norris.

But, Shirtless and Jack . . . who wins in a fight, Chuck Norris or ninjas?

3:19 PM  
Blogger A P said...

I think that is a trick question, Burb.

One more, for fun:

As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

3:27 PM  
Blogger flipper said...

I heard another one recently:

Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer. To the great detriment of humankind, however, Chuck Norris does not cry.

10:36 AM  

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