Marketing is Pretty Obnoxious

I went to a site to read This Modern World. After reading it, I noticed a tasteful, unobtrusive, and clearly labeled "advertisement" for Patagonia. I used to buy Patagonia long underwear when I could find it on sale, and even received the catalog for a time. Of course, I never bought anything from the catalog because Patagonia clothes are really expensive. But they really are high quality. It's worth it if you want some good "action-gear" that you can send back for a refund anytime, and if you're really into saving the environment and buying hemp products.

But I digress.

I looked at a skirt with no intent to buy. There was a box describing what it's made out of and how long it is--all the usual suspects. But it was preceded by this, um, 'description':

"On the thousand-meter walk up to the tea house she wore her Vitaliti Skirt -- the one with the otherworldly Moonflower print. Upon arrival, she knew something different was required. Stepping discreetly behind a boulder, she reversed the skirt to its solid, quiet side."

Pretty darn obnoxious, but there are so many companies--J. Peterman comes to mind immediately--that try to sell cotton skirts by playing to your undisciplined imagination and longing for exotic travel. It's obnoxious, but Patagonia is not alone.

But . . . then there was this box:

Ideal Uses

A full-stride, mid-calf length travel skirt. Use it for:

Dinner Out
Picnic
Farmer's Market
Around Town

Here's another Ideal Uses box for another skirt:

A travel friendly easy-care, dress up or down skirt. Use it for:

Day job
Tuning up the Subie
Dinner Out
Around Town

I'm sorry, but, what the frick?!

Who makes this up? Do I really need a $78 organic cotton skirt with an otherworldly Moonflower print to go to the farmer's market? What should I wear to Kroger? To Target!? Do I really need some flunkie, funky patchouli-smellin' intern at Patagonia to tell me the "ideal" uses for this skirt? And what if I don't have a "Subie"? Oh my gosh--I don't even tune up my own fat American sedan.

I would say more, but the skirt I'm wearing is not suitable for more lengthy ranting.